Girl...?

So, something really quite peculiar has arisen. Contrary to the title of this blog, it appears that I am no longer redundant! Please join me in playing the link below and doing a wee boogie around the room....

That song is suprisingly long... apparently Kool and The Gang are capable of marathon celebrations!

Just in case you wanted to know how funky I got during the last four minutes and fifty nine seconds... check out the link below, which a friend recently drew to my attention on account of the gent featured having 'stolen my moves'....

Ok, I'm going to stop you-tubing like a 13 year old boy now.

So back to the job thing, unfortunately, there aren't actually any congratulations or well done's in order here, however grateful I am to the lovelies who have given me a good pat on the back for re-joining the realms of the employed (and those who have jumped on board for a few celebratory drinks tonight, yeehaa) because my efforts with bombarding the entire fashion and retail industry with copies of my CV and pleading cover letters didn't really pay off at all - my old job has pretty much just given me my job back.

Crappy anti-climax, I know, but however much I wish there was a more life inspiring story to tell (eg. going travelling around the world and severing all ties to society OR Lorraine Candy deciding she actually loved me bombarding her with adoration on Twitter and having to hire me at ELLE Magazine immediately...) this is an undeniably marvellous thing, and I'm rather chuffed indeed (if a little confused a bewildered) and am looking forward to lunching again with my former colleagues next week :)

As for the blog, I spose I'm keeping at it, if for nothing else then to remind me of the constantly looming threat to my job security which the recession has kindly ushered in. Also, because I love that I've found a new way of ranting and rambling, (I'm sure most people just zone me out now when I go off on one after my second glass of rose) even despite the fact that I've been accused of revealing far too much of my private life: either rendering myself completely 'un-dateable' OR providing the perfect spring board for anyone with stalker-esque tendencies... both are risks I am willing to take.

To continue in my self indulgent blogging, I will have a bit of a recap over the weekend of the things which I have proudly achieved over the past four weeks... or at least some of the things which have made it pretty bloody aweeesome to be temporarily unemployed............

1) HELLO EGGS BENEDICT!!

I really have perfected my skills at making Hollandaise sauce over the past month, which has enabled me to eat an unhealthy quantity of my absolute favourite meal of Eggs Benedict.

Here are my very best instructions if you like serving a heart-attack on a plate for brekkie too:

OK, this isn't mine, this pic's off Google. Mine would look
waaay better ;) I will make it this weekend and photograph
the hell out of it. That is if I manage not to immediately wolf
down the whole thing.

1. Using the heaviest pan possible (so it doesn't get insanely hot in 3 seconds) separate an egg yolk from the white (save the white for later and add it to the other egg you poach, everyone loves a double white) and pop it in the COLD pan with a tablespoon of cold water. Whisk together and turn up the heat just a teensy bit. The trick here is not to just scramble the yolk, or you have disaster-eggs-benny which is heartbreaking.
2. Then, as it goes all frothy and saucy looking, add little bits of butter, bit by bit, waiting for each bit to melt before adding the next. It can take about half a stick of butter (this is clearly not for the calorie timid) and it's best to use unsalted, unless you want to speed up your heart attack ten-fold. 
3. Once it starts looking yummy, you might need to turn up the heat a little bit, as this will make it thicken up and go all dreamy and delicious.
4. Add lemon juice, to taste. I sometime pop in a cheeky drop of vinegar, cos I like my eggs benny to have a twang. 
5. QUICK NOW - Sauce off hob, split an English muffin, get it down the toaster and poach 2 eggs (plus one extra white, you lucky tinker you)
6. I like mine with smoked salmon, cos that's the posh kind of bird I am, but you can use ham, bacon or spinach if you're a veggie. (Interesting factoid: with salmon it's actually called Eggs Royale, with spinach it's Eggs Florentine and with Bacon it's Eggs Benedict - nice eh?) 
7. Now you just need to assemble: Muffin - Salmon - Eggs - Hollandaise - and, of course, Black Pepper.

VOILA - YUM IN YOUR TUM... Ooooh I'm mega hungry now.

I have to head out now, it's the weekend and celebratory drinks certainly are in order.

I can't express how over joyed I feel to have weekends back - everyday might have been a weekend before, but it seriously was getting old. Oh and I have my beloved Friday's back, oh how I have missed you!

HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE!!!!!!

Carrot tops...

I have spent much of today slogging through job applications. Just before my eyes started to blur and my brain imploded, I thought I'd take a break and have a little flick through some of my favourite blogs, including The Fashion Spot, which is super for all kinds of news and updates. A couple of separate posts came to my attention about some newly flame haired celebs, so I thought I'd bring them all together for a little ginger snap party here....

MILEY CYRUS

BLAKE LIVELY 

SCARLETT JOHANNSON

After dying my hair to the point that it turned to straw, I've vowed to leave it well alone from now on. But if I was still so reckless and as bored as I am now, I'm sure I would be going ginger. If you fancy having a look at a brilliant hair-do blog, have a look at She Knows.

Some advice for a teenage dirtbag....

I had a birthday yesterday, celebrating my 24th year.... I'm not going to start bleating about being old quite yet, as I realise getting a year older at this stage in my life hardly means I've been handed a one way ticket to granny's ville. In fact, yesterday morning, as I was giving myself an hour long birthday preening effort (it does take a tad longer now... or at least it takes longer after the 3 day pre-birthday celebrations I've indulged in over the weekend) I turned my music up to lift my mood to birthday appropriate level, and what was my first song of choice? Wheatus, oh yes, 'Teenage Dirtbag' - who I had the pleasure of watching LIVE for my 14th Birthday treat when I embodied the title of the song in every innocent 14 year old way possible (using the term 'watching' very lightly here... I was concentrating more on flinging myself about the place in the most serious 'into the music' way possible and 'crowd surfing' over about 20 other teenage punk-wannabes: consequently feeling over-ambitiously badass)

I couldn't help wondering what my 14 year old self would have made of the girl I am now as I turn a year older. Without sounding excessively 'sob sob' over this, I'm sure there would be a few small disappointments to be had by my adolescent predecessor, so I'm jotting down a few pointers to send back in time as a birthday gift to grimey-pigtailed teenage self....

YOU

DOC BROWN

1) First off, I'm sure you must be very disheartened to see that my hair is a perfectly natural, normal shade of brunette. I realise that whilst it is 'well lame' that after finally gaining bundles of adult freedom I have not permanently embraced the allure of shocking pink, green, or dreadlocked hair, I have made a good few attempts at radical do's, only to find that the constant abuse resulted in an eerie resemblance to The Doc from back to the future (hair which is even more uncontrollable than an kid at a Wheatus gig) Also, please realise that whilst your female idols may currently include Courtney Love and the girl with a million piercings who works at 'One Legged Jockey' (the only shop in rural Chichester where you could purchase flared trousers so wide that you could fit three of your friends, each smuggling a bottle of Hooch inside) you will one day discover a love for the shiny, radiant Olivia Palermo, and endeavour from then on to achieve some semblance of willowy grace and tanned limbed perfection. I'm not sure how well this is going at the moment, we're still working hard at reversing some of the damage caused through the teenage years... cheers for that, by the way.

GRACE

DISGRACE

2) DO NOT leave your backpack lying around so that Jessie can find it and Tip-Ex: "Suzie sucks ****s" on it in Year 10. For one, this is untrue, and is not a nice way to be portrayed, and secondly, your parents will go  frickin' mental at you. As I recall you actually get grounded and have to miss at least one school disco. Bad times Suz - AVOID.

I HAD A SHIT FILA BACKPACK BACK IN THE DAY - SPORTSWEAR WAS STILL KIND OF COOL AT THE BEGINNING OF THE NAUGHTIES. IT TOTALLY DESERVED TO BE DEFACED THOUGH...

3) For God's sake, don't be such a bitch. You'll realise around the age of 20 that you were a little bitch during most of your teenage years, and you won't feel great about it. Girl's are bitchy, it's ingrained in our weird, mysterious psyche somewhere, so there will undoubtedly be a few hiccups and fall outs during your school uniformed years, but this does not mean you have to be on high alert for it 24/7 and react like viper at every opportunity. Cut out this along with the stupid competitiveness, especially when it comes to boys - they mostly end up being utter disappointments anyway and certainly are not worth the effort- it should be Sister's before Mister's I'm afraid: girls will teach you far more than any nose-picking boy will. In short, work hard and be nice to people, and you'll feel a little prouder of your former self once you reach adulthood.

4) Everything will be fine. I'm sorry to say, there are a few earth-shattering, disastrous moments ahead which are going to trip you up and kick you in the face and which no amount of warning or advice will be able to prepare you for. You're tougher than you think, you have priceless friends and you will eventually be happier than you ever could have hoped, I promise.

5) Finally, you bag yourself a job in fashion buying almost straight out of uni - wooo-f*ing-hooo! 

NOW START APPLYING FOR NEW JOBS A COUPLE OF MONTHS IN. 

Two words Sugar, recession and redundant. (You may now wish to refer back to point 4...)

TO KATE AND WILLS!!

OOoh I've come over all patriotic this weekend, loved the wedding! Now to recover from the festivities and back to real life.... aaah TO KATE AND WILLS!!